Sometimes I sit and think back to my days as a teenager. I was surrounded by my close friends. Always on the go. There always seemed to be something that I just had to be doing, ya know? I wasn't happy unless I was on the go, go, go. I look at myself now and I'm so far from that end of the spectrum. Most days I'm content to just lounge around the house, doing nothing at all. Well, that's what I used to be like. These days, I long for friendships. I long to be out of this house, doing fun things, making memories. I need to put myself out there more often. Make more friends. Not only for me, but for Shelby. She's such a little social butterfly. It isn't right to keep her cooped up. Gotta let her spread those wings. :)
I'm so ready for this deployment to be over and behind us. It feels as if the last month or so has just been dragging. I swear he should be home by now. I can't even begin to explain how much he is missed. Even though most of our evenings are spent at home, doing nothing of importance...that is just us and I miss those quiet evenings more than you could know. Him sitting in his little video game chair, lost in his Call of Duty game. Me on the computer, doing random internet stuffs. Shelby playing or in bed sound asleep. I miss that so much. *sigh* Not too much longer now.
I wish I would have listened to my mom when she told me to savor every moment of every day. That before I knew it, I would blink and years would have passed. That's exactly how life feels to me these days. Shelby has turned into this big girl and I don't know when that happened. I certainly didn't give her my permission! *laughs* It's hard to believe that she is going to start kindergarten this year. Kindergarten?! Seriously? I don't remember giving her permission for that one either! Before we know it, we'll be handing her car keys and helping her to buy a prom dress. My God. They don't stay little forever, that's for sure. And as heartbreaking as it is, it's also so very rewarding. Watching her grow into this fabulous, intelligent, independent little person, it's amazing! And I just love knowing that I have so much to do with who she is and what she knows. Being able to stay at home with her the past five years has been one of the greatest things I've ever had the pleasure of doing. I wouldn't trade it for all of the money in the world!
I am full of these thoughts tonight. My mind is overflowing. I get like that sometimes and it's nice to have a little outlet to just put it all out there....
Oh Wow!
14 years ago
